This farmer really, really, wants a wife

Roger Brewer really wants a wife, and all his mates have told him he needs to better sell himself.

No self-respecting girl, they have told him, would be interested in a plain farm boy.

None of them, however, could have realised the lengths to which Roger would go in following their instructions.

But they had inspired the northern Victorian farmer to go the whole hog, as it were.

So he secretly got a sign made up, put it on a trolley, caught the early train from Bendigo to Southern Cross and set up shop in the Bourke St mall.

Loud and proud, his sign, a facsimile of the TV show of the same name, declared he was a farmer who wants a wife.

“I’m, sick of the dating apps and fake profiles,” his sign reads.

“Can you live on a farm?”

Well, as of today, not yet.

“I got plenty of approaches, even though it was raining,” Roger says.

“Some women came up and had a chat, told me they liked the concept and wished me every success – but they were all married, engaged or already in relationships,” he laments.

“I think I was pitching at the wrong demographic.”

Roger’s not a bad catch. He’s 54, single for too long but no baggage, has a very successful lamb feedlot enterprise at Appin, across 320 acres, an old farmhouse (ready to renovate or detonate) with the site for a brand spanking new one already chosen.

“I can build the new house, I just can’t build a home on my own,” Roger explains.

“But it is so hard to find a single woman, especially if you live on a farm, and I know with every passing year we all get set in our own ways, but I also believe my life, and someone else’s, would be so much better if we were here to share and enjoy the lifestyle,” he says.

“But up ’til now I feel as though I have been hitting my head against a brick wall.”

And lifestyle is one of the big attractions Roger believes his search for a wife is offering.

He reckons just spending a day in Melbourne was an eye-opener.

“Everyone was hurrying from one place to another, nearly everyone was looking down, or glued to a phone, your chance of simply saying g’day to someone was pretty slim,” he says.

“I’m offering some peace and quiet, fresh air, open spaces, and I’ve got plenty of absolute riverfront on the Loddon – and there’s a biggish town and a Woolies only 15 minutes away.”

Originally a Kiwi, Roger admits he and the rigid authority of school weren’t all that compatible, so at the age of 16 he landed in Australia on a one-way ticket, with two stripy bags and $300 in his pocket.

Today he is a successful farmer, potential homebuilder, enthusiastic potential partner – looking for someone who will prove to be very compatible.

“I’m just a farmer who really, really, wants a wife, but without all the wank of the show.”

If you’re looking for a farmer, or husband, drop Roger a line at roger.brewer@live.com.au